Thursday, October 28, 2010

Sleepless in Eugene

For a while this blog was sort of friend of mine I can confine to without the 'social' obligations to discuss it further... It was suppose to document my change - and overall the positive one. Lately however I feel like I am just writing doom and gloom.
Well, this is how I feel.
I feel like a 90 years old fellow. My walk is slow, have some strange pains and almost every step hurts on the side, and sometimes just standing straight is a painful effort. It seems like I swell internally and then the pressure around my waist feels like a vise grip.
I can only sleep few hours, and with the help of sleeping pills, melatonin, etc. I usually wake up at around 3AM and sometimes force myself to go back to sleep, again, with the sleeping pill. I am not sure - is it the stress, or something is really happening.
Tonight I experienced incredible chills. Had to set up thermostat at 76, added extra comforter, and turned an electric blanked to the max. My hands were icy cold, and I was shivering like as standing naked outside in the sub-zero weather. I checked my sugar and temperature. Both were normal.
I am upset, since I just cannot afford  to be in such shape. Over 400 students keep watching and listening. Somehow in the classroom the adrenaline kicks in, and I am OK, but not afterward.
I know that something is wrong.
That is not normal, at least not normal for me.

I needed to do something nice for myself and yesterday I purchased this fabulous and expensive motorcycle leather jacket. I rode it to school on my big BMW...
Yes, the retail therapy works! I'm not sure what I will buy today...

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