Saturday, June 20, 2009

The Fears

The fear I’m experiencing is not the fear of the surgery. That’s peanuts. I am not worried about possible complications, odds are slim. The fear of going through such drastic change afterwords, that is scary.
The fear of gaining back the weight after few years that would make this whole effort dangerously worthless.
The fear of looking like a shriveled prune. I better start saving now for some skin removal procedure next year.
The fear of mental adjustment. I have this stupid (or may be not) theory that by burning fat one also burns the accumulated toxins. That is why they do not advise to eat fish with the skin from the Great Lakes… Fish accumulate garbage in their fat tissue, so do us. Burning fat means burning toxins. But of course I am not sure if this is true, even if it sounds plausible.
The fear of handling my job after surgery. I am 100% confident that I will do fine, which of course is in denial of the fear.

I would like to believe that the weight loss will solve EVERYTHING in my life, but I also know that the only thing changed will be my weight. My normal other struggles will remain the same. And I have to keep repeating this to myself. ONLY MY WEIGHT WILL CHANGE!
I stockpiled on liquid whey protein supplements that suppose to be my main diet for the first 3 weeks. I bought my multivitamins, B12, Calcium Citrate; all suppose to be my supplements for the rest of my life. I have to say good bye to coffee (BIG loss), sweets (occasional loss), and carbonated drinks (substantial loss- I will miss you Pellegrino). The requirement to chew each bite at least 30 times is very difficult to practice.
I hope that former (and prospective) patients can find this blog and share their experiences and thoughts.