Yearly (late) Checkup

Yearly checkup was a stunning success. All my very comprehensive lab work was great. I finally made picture comparison from before surgery, 6 months post, and now. My weight was slightly up or down after 6 months, so the six months picture shows my shape before abdominoplasty.
I cannot stop watching it myself. I am still in disbelief. All this was WORTH it - and I have pictures to prove it.
Now - get completely well and work those muscles!
(...what muscles?)

Another 'End' is Near

This morning, two days shy of the 6 weeks from the surgery, the drain came out. I feel very much better, almost 60% normal. That is still not a lot, but comparing to the last few weeks it feels like heaven.
Today my cats will be sleeping in bed, on top of me, wherever they want. They were remarkable throughout this ordeal, like they sensed that there was something wrong and they just could not bother me. They have my great gratitude.
I am back at the University trying to catch up with my preparation for 450 students awaiting me next week. My TAs were keeping the preparations afloat, and like my cats, they have my utmost gratitude.
I am finally feeling glad to go through it. I hope this blog will come to the nice and happy conclusion soon.

Improvement

Yesterday I felt real improvement. My head cleared up, the pain level and swelling went down. It seems like the last set of antibiotics is working. Yesterday I saw my doctor, he confirmed what I felt. The antibiotics will be extended for another seven days. The drain is still there and will stay until at least next Tuesday. That means almost 6 weeks!
I canceled my appointment at the Oregon Bariatric Center last week and will have it next Thursday. I'm still looking forward to having the pictures taken.  
The school starts in a week - and I am still not ready!

Third set of antibiotics gets me worried.

I honestly thought that by now I will be wrapping up this blog – as it supposed to document my ‘bariatric trip’ and now it should be almost over. Well, it is not.
Today I received a call from my surgeon and they switched (AGAIN) antibiotics for me. The first (Cephalexin 500mg / 4xDay) was started last Thursday. Friday it was replaced by Doxycycline 100mg / 2xDay, and today (Monday) switched to Amox/Clav K 500-125mg / 3xDay. As a reasonable person I do worry. Of course I have no clue about their differences, and if any of the readers could help, I would appreciate. (Actually this is the first time I made a request to my readers).
I felt better on Saturday, went out for few hours, and Sunday went to work. After just couple of hours the swelling around the incision felt like a very tight bicycle tube around my waist. I had to go home and knock myself out.
Sunday and today I feel pain (not great, just very unpleasant) and I am mentally exhausted. On top of it the school starts in two weeks and I am NOT READY. However I am not going to rush it though, since I feel that I aggravated my condition last week by going back too early.
So the grand finale of this blog will have to end.
Thursday I will go to the Bariatric Center for my yearly (in this case belated yearly) checkup. This always involves the ‘official’ photos. I just can wait.
Even though I am very frustrated by the recovery, I am also incredibly happy with the results. As soon as I will have these pictures – I will post them here.

New Drain

The drilling at the hospital was successful and new tube installed. The procedure was done in the old McKenzie-Willamette hospital, and that is now a very depressing site. Hope to avoid it in the future. The culture was analyzed and the antibiotics I was started on yesterday do nothing for it, so new series started today. I am hurt and sort of depressed, and mostly tired. Time to knock myself out and go to bed.
One really cool thing was to watch ultra-sound display, and see the 'reservoir' being punctured by the tube and shrinking out, knowing that this was inside my belly.
Now I wonder how much that thrill will cost me. It took them about one hour to do it.

Bummer

OK - Doctor removed the drain today, however only because there are early infection signs. He started me on antibiotics. Tomorrow I'm going to the hospital for a small procedure to pinpoint the 'bubble' and to insert new tube - of course I'm disappointed.
On the positive side - I look great.

Four Weeks

The drain on the right side is still there and draining a lot (around 150-220 cc daily) and no &^%#$ end in sight. I am very frustrated, not sleeping well and still hurt. I had to go back to work since my preparation for the Fall term turned out incomplete with the University switching to Office 2010/Win 7. My publisher's tools do not work!
I am getting pissed.

Useful Post

I found this very helpful post about medications after bariatric surgery.
Please check http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/amos/MEDICATIONS-After-Bariatric-Surgery-wls.html
Otherwise no major changes. I am planning to go to work for few hours today.

Three Weeks

After three weeks from the surgery I still have one (very productive) drain tube. It means that I will be tied to home until at least next Tuesday. I feel much better, but still long way from being well. I wish I would have a remote controlling my life with the fast-forward button.
Actually having fast-backward button would also be nice 8^)

Things Are Looking Up

I am starting my third week with only one drain tube and container. Pain is much lighter now, however my right side is still very sensitive. Since handling one drain is manageable, today I put on some lose clothes and drove to the farm market. This was my first escape.
I can do more around the house, however few things happen to be beyond my capacity. I opened (lifted) the window in the bedroom during the day, however closing it created a rip that made me sit for 20 min in a lot of pain. My next appointment with surgeon is Tuesday and I hope that the last drain will be removed. I think that by the end of next week I should be relatively mobile.
But every time I look into a mirror I am so glad I went through it.

Just grind your teeth

I went to see my doctor today about that pain. Two major suspicions:

1. The right drain tube is touching some nerve
2. One of the stitches broke

Unfortunately he could not do anything for either one. I am still draining way too much so the removal of the drain is not possible at this time. If the stitch broke, again there is nothing that could be done and with time it will heal.

So what the solution - nothing - pain pills, and wait until next visit on Tuesday. Once the drain tubes will be removed I think there will be some relief.

Back to the zombieland.

Not as fast....

Yesterday there was a step back. I started to hurt badly on right side, became very uncomfortable, could not sleep well, and went back for the pain pills. They helped. Today the pain continues, but no signs of infection or other trouble. Back to the pain med and back to the zombie land. I am still draining a lot. They will remove the drain tubes as total drainage will be less than 30 cc per day, but it still ranges at around 250-300 cc / day. Somehow I was hoping it would have been faster. So I wait, wait...

One week

Tired of sleeping in the chair, tired of still having tubes, tired of not being able to escape problems at school, clock - fast forward please.

Day Five

Great. Don't cough, don't sneeze. Great. Don't cough, don't sneeze. Great. Don't cough, don't sneeze. Great. Don't cough, don't sneeze.
Recovery is fast, but don't cough, don't sneeze...

Day four

The recovery is truly amazing. I am totally off pain medication (other than pain pump on my neck) and relatively pain free as long as I do not do anything stupid, like sliding my netbook off my knees into my stomach... My biggest complaint is sleeping in the chair (last night was pretty much sleepless), still having that pain pump, drain tubes, and no shower. I feel like I will be able to get to somehow normal life soon, ahead of the schedule and doctor's prediction. I can get up from chair pretty well, as long as I bend my knees I can stand pretty straight. Tomorrow morning I'll see the doctor, and hopefully he will get rid of some of the drain tubes, pump, and containers. Actually I am looking forward to see myself in the mirror for the first time without all these pads, tubes, etc. Speaking is still more difficult...

Three Days After Abdominoplasty

Thursday 8/12/10 early in the morning I had my tummy tuck. I had many concerns, from the caregiver help I need to hire, to keeping my cats away from me. First, the caregiver, who is an old acquittance and in the middle of her 2-year nursing program, turned out to be just great. Big thanks. My cats somehow sensed that they have to stay away from me, after couple of attempts to jump on the recliner, they just watch me from the distance. This is amazing.
The recovery:
Day one as predicted. Sore, bent in 90 degrees. Thankful for the pain killers. I went to see doctor that day - and he seemed to be very proud of his handiwork. From the repositioning of the belly button, to proclaiming some kind of record of stitching the muscles first at the edges (9 cm), but because that was still very loose, he went for 14 cm stitch, and finally for his record 28 cm. It was very reassuring to see him being so excited and proud. He warned me that the next two days will be worse as swelling will increase and should be at the max during day 3. Well, the next day was much better and today is even better. Friday the swelling and the new tightness made it difficult to breathe, but that is no longer happening. I will cut down the pain pills today, and see how I am doing without them. I am beginning to feel very ecstatic about that surgery knowing that worse is behind me. All is paid - at the tune of $10K, but that does not include other expenses like supplies, lab work, and caregiver. Overall this adventure will cost me about $13K. Out of pocket, as insurance does not cover anything. I suspect an additional bill because the surgery took an extra hour. After bariatric bypass I had an infection which resulted in ugly scar after one of the incisions. When Dr. Movassaghi called me after surgery, his first question was: "Do you know when do you have your belly button?" Trying to be smart Alec I guessed "Above my knee?"
I should not make jokes. He repositioned it exactly where I had the scar (and hernia underneath).
Overall I am in much better shape that I was expecting and that I was told I will be. That is why I can sit in my recliner and use my laptop...
To be continued...

Surprise - more like an explosion...

I need to share it almost in real time.
It is 1:10 am. Close to midnight I was ready to go to bed, and before I decided to try a glass of alcohol for the first time since the surgery. I was warned that it will hit me fast, but since I was going to bed...
I did not want to open bottle of wine, but I had a bottle of sweet liqueur in my fridge, so I had a glass. Within few minutes I hated the world around me, myself, liqueur, and all. I was like a heart attack. My breath was rapid and short, I could not sit, standing was not better. For about 15-20 minutes it was MISERY!. If this would happen without me drinking, I would call 911. That was 'dumping' I was warned, but unlike ANYTHING I experienced before. Now, one hour later I am almost OK, but I just cannot imagine having glass of wine outside as I was tempted many times...
What a punishment.
I am getting ready for my abdominoplasty and diastasis repair next week. I hired someone to stay with me for the first three days. Finding someone I could trust and depend on was not easy, but it was just too much to ask friends to do it. Such is single life.
At the university - many changes for the next academic year, some of them unexpected and will require significant amount of work. I am not sure to what degree I will be ready. Just one more thing to worry about.

It is now 1:20am and I am almost recovered. What an unpleasant trip.

Getting ready for the knife - again

I had my 3-hour pre-op yesterday and I am not excited at all. From all I heard the recovery from abdominoplasty with diastasis is nasty. Drain tubes and reservoirs, pain pump, unable to sleep in bed, well - hope that it will be worth it. My belly muscles are separated by 9 cm (about 3 ½ inches). That's a lot. Unfortunately, the doctor was not making any guarantees about the extent of the flattening of the stomach or sides. He promised significant improvement, but it’s extend will not be 100% predictable. I decided to hire someone to be with me 24hr for the first 3 days. I think it is too much to ask friends. This surgery means that second summer in a row will be spent mostly on recovery. I am still teaching and will be until the day before surgery.
I feel very much being under pressure, I have to deliver presentation for the department and the associate dean on Monday (very important), close out two summer classes, prepare everything for before surgery, and hire help. One of the new concerns will be my two cats. They have to be kept away from me – but since I will be in the living room recliner, that means problem. Of course they favorite sleeping place on my belly will be out of question, but also the cats’ hair represents a major infection concern when cleaning and replacing drain tubes. I am not ready to keep them locked out in the bedroom, as they have special healing powers.
My weight was at 213. Well, I am not in the mood for punishing myself.
BTW, today I turned 63!

@^%$#&^%$!!!!!

Today (7/13/10) my weight was 215lbs.
Still way too much but 7lbs loss in one day?
What's happenning?
I am not even updating the left column as I will go back there in no time.

Horror!!!!

Today (7/12/10) I stepped on the scale and it showed 222lbs! I feel terrible and totally ashamed, to the point that I was very hesitant about making this post until I drop at least 15 lbs. I am failing!!!
I do not feel that I gained this much, my waistline is pretty much the same.
Stupid metabolism!!!
Lately I have been walking and biking daily. I have to keep strict food intake log again. I am such an efficient machine and it seems like I squeeze every last ounce of energy from anything I eat.
I am angry at myself. I hope that's for good.

It's My First Surgiversary!!!

Today is my WLS one-year anniversary.
Good news: I lost almost 100 lbs, diabetes and apnea are gone.
Bad news: I never reached my goal (so far).
My scheduled abdominoplasty is in 7 weeks and saga continues.
Overall, I am very happy about my decision, and 80% happy with the results.
I am not sure if my goal was realistic as 165 lbs was the weight when I was in my thirties. However, I still hope to get there.
Long time ago I quit smoking and after I quit, I had some nightmares that I took a cigarette again. I knew that one cigarette would bring the old addiction back. However, now it is different, because I have to eat. It is like quitting cigarettes, but in order to survive you must have few… 8^)
It is difficult to stay focused as my cravings have returned, and the fear of getting back to old habits is very real. I decided not to make any resolutions, as I did not keep so many before. Resolutions not kept made me feel like a failure even when there was great deal of success.
The journey continues, the destination is still NOT within the sight, but much, much closer.

One year anniversary approaching - abdominoplasty scheduled.

I am approaching one-year anniversary. Many thoughts, reflections, and resolutions.

• My weight stabilized at slightly over 200 (last was 208) and it is not going down. To be honest, I do not exercise as much as I was hoping for, and I have plenty of excuses, but no good reason for not doing it.  I feel great, healthy, the tiredness is gone, but there is no great deal of newfound energy. It is sort of coasting on neutral.
• I am very scared that my brain is still unchanged as I experience cravings for foods that are not exactly post-bariatric staple. I crave carbs, don’t care about meat. The fear of falling back to bad habits is real.
• I made decision to have abdominoplasty with diastasis. Today I paid $4,000 down payment toward the surgery. The total cost will be around $10,000. Expensive, but part of my ‘reconstruction’. The surgery is scheduled for middle of August.
• I am so glad I kept this blog as I can revisit my trip and read about stuff I already forgot.

Free and Clear

OK - finally I had a visit to evaluate the CAT results - and I am free of any worries. The changes as compared to 2007 are non-existant - and life is sweet.
I had to admit that it was a little bit scary...

After CAT

I went to see the surgeon today to evaluate CAT scan results.
I had good and bad news.
First (expected), there is no abdominal hernia. There are two small ‘inguinal hernias’ that are stable comparing to CAT scan in 2007.  However, the abdominal wall is very thin; therefore I need to have plastic surgeon to the rescue to repair the belly and the muscle, so I contacted one.
Second (unexpected), the CAT scan indicated ‘Urinary bladder wall is diffusely thickened. There is apparent defect at the superior portion of the prostate gland…’
Doctor recommended to see urologist, and I already made an appointment for June 4th. Thickening of the wall bladder could be a symptom of many problems, so I am not ready to speculate.
As Gilda Radner used to say: “There is always something…”
Cheers.

Welcome 4000 Visitors

Hi,
I was silent for the last two weeks. In the meantime, 4000th ‘unique’ visitor visited me. From the emails I received and feedback posted, it looks like few people out there were influenced and somehow I feel that I contributed to their life or their decisions.
Thank you all for sharing with me that difficult navigation, Now the sailing is clear.

OK – so what is new?

Looks like I lost all the fat I should loose, but I still did not reach my weight goal. I just have to accept it. What is bothering me more is my still large belly (of course much smaller from what it used to be, but still sort of out of proportion). When I started to exercise and specially tummy workout, my belly was just exploding. When I tighten my muscles, I have a ridge running up and down the front. I visited bariatric surgeon and she suspects that:

1. There is a small probability of hernia
2. I have separated stomach muscles that would have to be surgically ‘stitched’ together.

I am scheduled to have a CAT scan on Wednesday to see what is inside. Hernia can be very easily repaired however full abdominoplasty would be difficult, expensive, and with significant recovery time. On top of this, insurance covers hernia repair, but considers abdominoplasty‘cosmetic’ and therefore not covered.
Other than this – I feel great. I do not regret this decision for even one moment.

Great progress but only for these who knew me before. 8^)

I just returned from a conference in Seattle. Before I flew out, I took a walk around Westlake Center since I had about 40 minutes to kill. In front of the center four cops on horses stood in a nice line overlooking lively crowd. I walked to one and started to chat.
- Why horses and not bicycles or scooters? (possible crowd control),
- Is each horse being handled by a single cop? (yes),
- Is the other cop's horse a real Clydesdale? (no, he is half Clydesdale, you see that cop is a large guy like you - he needs a big horse)....

At that moment my shoes lost their shine,  my eyeglasses fogged, and thunder shook my whole foundation.
OK - I knew I still need to loose 30 lbs, but I didn't expect to hear it from a Seattle cop on horseback...

Fun Continues

The energy is still there. I am going to the gym and enjoying it. I even placed my profile on couple of dating sites

Somehow finally I feel very contend about who and where I am.

I have been walking or biking to work daily, and the inner-energy reversal is truly amazing.

But - my weight still did not dip below 200 lbs.

However - I lost few inches on my waist, and yesterday I purchased athletic shorts size SMALL and they fit!.

So I will not panic - with the exercise there will be a balance of muscle building (added weight) and loss of fat (weight loss). I am not happy about my still larger then wished for belly, but overall I feel (and look) great!

Good turn-around, finally

I sound like a cliche broken record when I repeat this recent roller-coaster ride. Things looked bleak for a while. After my visit to my doc and after the labs returned all OK results, I started to look for clues somewhere else.

Sometime few months before the surgery I was stressed out and I lost some of my trademarked realistic perception, and my doc suggested to take Prozac which should put me on the right track. Since one of my biggest worries about the surgery was the depression that many patients experience afterward, I decided to continue taking it until I know that I am out of the woods. That decision was actually suggested by my bariatric surgeon, who also warned me about serious possibility of depression. To make the long story short, after the lab results came in and showing nothing wrong, I decided to get off Prozac. It took couple of weeks, but the vail of energy loss and physical exhaustion had lifted. Just as before I could not stay awake, now I exercise, sleep only few hours and being rested rest of the day, etc. Another amazing thing happened - my suddenly increased appetite went back to the new 'normal' behavior where few bites are generally satisfying and more is not needed.

I finally joined and attended regularly scheduled class at the gym that combines cardio and strength exercises, my head is clear, body is willing, and life is wonderful.
On the negative side - I am still above 200lbs and my weight oscillates between 201-204, but now I know for sure that I am back on track and the forward trip will continue.
Stay tuned.

Soul Searching

Few facts first:

1. I have not lost a single pound this year so far

2. I can eat anything

3. That is bad combination.

4. Not feeling great

It was a long silence from me - reasons were few. I was finishing the class, preparing for the final exam, had a conference in Phoenix, then three sessions of finals, finally caught a bad cold and spent few days in bed.
During the conference, which just happen to be in five star resort with abundance of food and liqueur, it was hard to stay focused on picking the 'right' food, avoid temptations, etc. I stayed away from alcohol, coffee, but I had discovered that I can have a piece of pastry without punishment. Sorry, the punishment was strictly mental. Last few days I am recovering from the cold. I feel weak, I see that my muscles deteriorated, and I am still feeling without any energy. Going to the gym is still a future project, going to bed is much easier accomplished. I am becoming worried that my surgery was limited to my 'gastric' system and not my brain, do I need some kind of hypnosis? Weight Watchers help as a weekly reminder, bariatric center support meetings are monthly reminder, but I feel like I need it every hour. For the first time I have doubts, I am afraid that I am failing. I am still 35 lbs away from my goal and I will not accept compromise.
I made an appointment for tomorrow with my general practitioner to see what can be done with my total lack of energy, but as of now I have been trying to evaluate what is happening. I am not sure. I see the cycle of no energy, no exercise, increased hunger, no weight loss, and I seem to be powerless to break out of it.

Country road...

I think I am beginning to understand what is happening to me, and once I 'got it', it was so obvious...
About 13-14 years ago I developed diabetes, and doctors instead of checking for it - checked everything else. Looking back it seems almost impossible how they could miss it.
As I already wrote about, lately I felt tired, with attacks of hunger and almost instant need to eat. I started to exercise and noticed that I am just passing out. I tested my blood sugar next time when the bottom hit me. Today I rode my bicycle to school, and when I arrived there I felt really strange. Instead of reaching for a protein bar or something else I reached out for my meter. Sugar at low 70s. Glass of water and two glucose tablets - within 10 minutes sugar at 105 and I felt great.  Next bottom, sugar at 60, glucose, not food, to  the rescue. From now on I declared a war. Hypoglycemia, you have met your match.
Before I was very angry at myself for eating more, for being hungry, I felt like I was getting back to my former life and all this effort is wasting away. I feel stupid that I did not think about such obvious cause.
Later I  measured my sugar often, and amazingly could keep it at around 100 for rest of the day. No more downs, no more hunger. I still feel tired but I am sure that I have a handle on the problem.

This trip is not on the super-highway, but on the bumpy, twisted country road without pavement. There are thousands or millions roads just like this, but this road, just like others, was never traveled by anyone else.
We all are pioneers, trailblazers, however I also know that nobody else will travel that same path again, even though millions of identical paths exist, this one is mine.
Otherwise it would have been easier..
I don't look back, and I know that going back would be the easiest since that's the only direction where familiar places are, but I cannot look back.
Hope my experiences help other fellow travelers who find themselves stranded somewhere in the wild.

Weight Watchers (at work)

I took advantage of the free Weight Watchers program offered for the University employees and today I signed up and attended my first meeting. I need weekly dose of brain wash. I will see how the high protein post-bariatric surgery diet blends with points from WW.

Much better...

These were tough few weeks. Real crisis. I haven't felt zombie like this in a long, long time. Slowly things started to get better. Increased iron and B12 might have helped, however I also made a conscientious decision to eat more  as I was suspecting that eight months of very limited diet might produce that tiredness.  It worked, at least it appears that it is working. Yesterday instead of going to school to prepare for Monday I decided to take advantage of beautiful Spring weather and went on 250 mile motorcycle trip along the incredible Oregon coast. The energy is coming back as well as desire to to something else than just recline in the chair. I also started to take Melatonin and that helped to get good night rest. Before I would wake up at 3AM, not anymore. So this was just one more pothole on the road. They warned me it will not be smooth.
Thanks you very much to all of you who send me emails with your wishes and worries. I will respond individually today. Yesterday's open road, sun, and ocean was finally a game-changer. On the negative side - I am still waiting to break 200lbs barrier. It will happen.

Low Energy and No Weight Loss Continues

I really tried last week. I biked to work, went to the gym and joined Strength and Conditioning class. People were jumping, music was blasting, it was hard to keep up. Lets face it, I am not 20 year old, not even 60 8^)
Eventually we used mats to do some exercises laying down. As soon as I lay down, I felt like falling asleep. I was suppose to be reinvigorated, but was not.
I started taking 5000 mcg B12 daily (instead of weekly), extra iron. I will stick with extra physical activities and give it two more weeks.
I'm also scared that I still did not develop healthy habits for eating three meals at scheduled times. I am OK in the morning, but later things are getting hectic and I just grab a piece of the protein bar when get hungry. That meal planning is my priority #2. I started to log all food I consumed and keep the total calories/protein current.
I feel like I am at the crossroads and old life is still hunting me. I am still 35 lbs away from my goal, traveled long distance, but have not arrived at the destination.

New Challenges

I am facing new challenges at this stage. I blame myself for few problems, like not sticking to the regularly scheduled only three meals per day. I eat little, but more often than three times, as hunger strikes. Before, in the recovery stage, it was not an issue, now I see it as BIG issue. I still do not spend enough time to concentrate on meals. I still do not spend enough time to exercise. So these will be corrections I have to take soon, starting today.
On the other hand I feel like something is wrong. I am very tired, I fall asleep in the evening, but wake up at 5AM. I feel like an old lady not able to lift a bag of groceries. (I'm exaggerating, at least I feel like not willing to lift that bag). My tests are OK, thyroid went back to normal, so I am puzzled. In a week or two I will see my doctor if this continues.
My weight is still a notch above 200lbs, and it is stuck there. I am waiting for a new down step.
I am waiting for new found energy fountain. I need to find it soon.
In the meantime I am increasing doses of Iron, B12, and D3.

Seven Months

Today is 7 months since the surgery.

What's changed in these 7 months?
Everything. That is a short answer. Absolutely everything. That is a long answer.

My weight stabilized at 203 - which means 100lbs loss - but it is not going down... however - the belt is being tightened and new holes drilled. So I guess it is the weight redistribution. I went from pants size between 46-48 to 34-36. That is just about right, usually each inch in waistline corresponded to 10 lbs.
Today I decided to go back for two days on liquid protein diet - just to fight new bouts with hunger. I am as determined as ever to continue.

The challenges of the first few months were to cope with the surgery aftershocks. The future challenges will be more of the normal life adjustment. I can eat almost all, that is good and bad news. I still did not master slow and deliberate chewing - I am working on it. I still fight too many old habits, like not focusing on food while eating.
I still feel tired. So far other patients were telling me about their excess energy - I have none. My gym membership is still merely symbolic. I have a lot of excuses, and I know that they are only excuses.

Six months medical checkup

Yesterday I had my 6-months checkup. All the lab tests looking great. They also took photographs. Here I am at the start of the process and yesterday. It shows how far I traveled already, but it also shows the road ahead.
My weight is coming off slowly, but I reached new low of 103.2 today.

New Year

Back to the new yearly routine.
I recall when I was waiting for approval for the surgery and facing with the possibility that either it will be soon or in December as no surgeries were scheduled for Aug-Nov, on June 19 I wrote:

By December I could be 100 lbs lighter…

well, by December I was 97 pounds lighter. I also wrote about my fears and hopes. Fears did not materialized, hopes were met.
For this year resolutions:

1. Exercise - I am still not very dilligent. I still feel tired often.
2. Continue to loose weight until my goal of 165 lbs is met 
3. and keep it FOREVER under 170 lbs.

Back from Mexico!

This morning I returned from 10 day trip to Mexico. I went sightseeing old pyramids of Monte Alban, enjoyed the sights of Oaxaca, tropical beeches of Huatulco, and the warmth of Cuernavaca. And of course the food! I knew this will be the challenge. I do not want to live a crippled life, which is not why I underwent the surgery. I wanted NEW life. It turned out just fine. At the fancy restaurants the food of choice was Ceviche, which is raw seafood marinated in lemon juice, and served various styles, but usually as an appetizer or cocktail. It is a perfect combination of low fat good protein, veggies, and no starches. Only once my little pouch rebelled when I decided to have a Fillet-Mignon medallion, but it lasted not too long. The end result – I lost 4 lbs on the trip and I reached a new low of 104.2. 
Tomorrow it will be 6 months since the surgery. I am in the totally new world.  Even though I have not achieved my weigh goal yet (I will) I’m facing different challenges. As I can eat more foods, tolerate more variety, there is a danger of getting back to old habits.  Like a recovering alcoholic, I pray to be strong and resist the temptations. The stomach surgery took couple of hours; the resulting brain ‘surgery’ will be a lifelong process.

To Lisa:

You wrote:

“I have to ask you...did you have a fear of dying during the surgery? This is what scares me the most. I'm not afraid of the diet afterwords, or what I'll have to endure pain wise...I'm afraid of dying during the surgery.”

I know what you mean – especially since you are a mom to two little girls and have no other medical problems. I did not have your dilemma; other than my two cats I have nobody who depends on me, and my diabetes was out of control. I knew that diabetes will cripple or kill me, and for me the probability of dying from the surgery was significantly lower that dying from the diabetic complications.
I think it is VERY WISE to be afraid. This should NOT BE a cosmetic surgery or something that should be considered frivolously. Only you can weight all pros and cons. If you decide on the surgery, please consider also other less invasive options like a gastric sleeve.
For me my surgery worked fabulously, but that does not make it a universal rule.
Good luck!

Change in record keeping

I stopped the daily checking of my weight and blood sugar. I will check weight weekly, and sugar at random. BTW, today I was still at 210.4 - matching my previous low - but not breaking it.

Long Wait

After 15 days of waiting my weight finally went down, but only .6 lb from the previous low on 11/19/09...

Plateau

I have reached another plateau, as for the last 13 days I have not lost a single pound. I suspect it has to do something with my thyroid function. After I started to take pills, I experienced HUNGER, but that lasted only few days and was replaced by lack of hunger and almost aversion to food. I also started to ride bicycle daily. I see no reason to have that weight loss freeze (other than waiting for thyroid to get to normal). I am not worried, but slightly disappointed. I still have most of the hypothyroid symptoms: cold intolerance, fatigue, weight loss problem, dry skin, etc...
Somehow I started to believe that the surgery was a miracle cure for ALL, but it turned out to be a miracle cure for MOST. If thyroid will remain my only problem, I can live with that.
To be continued.

TSH at 17.5

This afternoon when I got back from my bike ride I received lab report in the mail (I was expecting it on Monday). As I suspected my TSH was at 17.5 - very high. I am glad I listened what my body was telling me.

Abnormal normalcy

After 5 months the changes are still happening, but not on the daily basis. Since I got rid of almost all major problems, I was sure that I could get rid of them all. My thyroid is bad, and for the last 10 years I have been taking supplements. I tried all, even homeopathic sulphur. The synthetic replacement did not really work, as I had to increase the dose every few months. Homeopathy worked (!) but not for long. The one consistently good product was Armour Thyroid. It combines T3 and T4 and generally is not favored by doctors (my doctor laughed that this is throwback to 50s and Elvis lives) but he could not argue with success – my TSH went down from mid teens to under 1. I have been taking it ever since. Unfortunately, the supply of Armour was greatly affected by production problems and I was not able to get it. I thought that this is a good blessing and I will try to see how I am doing without it. After four weeks I knew something is wrong. I was constantly cold, my skin was dry, and all old hypothyroid symptoms were there. Before Thanksgiving I had lab work done but I did not get results yet. Nevertheless, I dug out the 5 stashed pills and started to take them. The results are instant – chills are gone. In two days I will get lab work back, but I felt like I could not wait.
Other observations: after of 5 months the hunger came back. I am analyzing it. Is it real? The fact is I did not lose a single pound in 9 days now. I did not overeat for sure, but I think I need to have more exercise. Today a bike ride is planned.
So things are getting back to normal, but they are far from normal yet.

5 Months

Tomorrow will be 5 months since the surgery. 92 lbs lost, 74 since the surgery. My system is getting used to my new stomach and digestive tract; pouch is no longer as angry as before. I remember when I was applying for the surgery and there was a very good chance that it would have to be postponed until December. In my conversation with the B.C. manager, I said “By December I already could have been 100 lbs lighter”. Well, almost there.
I am still 46 lbs to my goal, but I am beginning to see the horror of loose skin. I am sure that the next 46 lbs will create more dramatic change. I will deal with it later, when my weight stabilizes.
Diabetes and apnea are gone FOREVER!

Am I Losing My Mind?

Since the previous weekend proved that I could handle salad, I decided on my way home to stop at the store and take some home. I went to the salad bar, and carefully picked what would seem like sensible choices. I was ready to leave, when I glanced at the miniature watermelons and thought – why not. As I was walking to pickup watermelon, I remembered that I am out of milk. On my way to the dairy cooler, I walked past the meat counter, and they had these little NY steaks (about 6 oz each) at greatly reduced price. Last weekend I also successfully had piece of prime rib, so I decided to buy few and stack them in the freezer. After I loaded gallon of milk, I also recalled that I am out of yogurt. Getting yogurt, I also got some frozen cherries and blueberries. My basket was full and my little salad trip was $50.
Because of the terrible parking situation I usually ride to the university on my very large scooter. I have side bags and very spacious trunk. I had to remove all stuff and distribute it in my scooter luggage. In my garage I had to move everything again into a cart and finally I made it home. Since it was cold and rainy, I changed into my comfortable warm robe, and unpacked the grocery. But I could not find my salad. I left it in the store. There was no way I would dress again and ride there, so I just decided to forget about it, and prepared one of the steaks. The grilled steak turned out absolutely perfect, I had only half of it, with some beans, and I started to feel ‘funny’ (unfortunate word as I was not laughing). Within no more than 5 minutes the steak ended up in the toilet in sort of unusual violent vomiting.
So I went to get a salad, which I left in the store, purchased all kinds of stuff I was not planning. The punishment was instant. Is there a lesson here, or just coincidence?

To Stella:

Stella;
I am not sure if there is a real difference in soy based and whey based protein powder. There are also organic health food alternatives, based on rice, hemp, and nopales (cactus). Of course they claim that whey protein will kill you 8^).
Since I switched to unflavored protein, I found that soy changes the food taste more than whey or rice. Also, there is a link on thyroid deficiency and soy based products, but I am not sure how serious this is.
Yogurts are great, but plain yogurt (which I like) is eventually getting to be too boring. Fruit flavored yogurts, on the other hand, are full of sugar. I started to buy frozen berries and cherries, and blend some plain (preferably organic) yogurt with frozen fruits and a little bit of Splenda. This creates very good tasting 'smoothie'.
Good luck to you.

Normal Life Returns

I am able to return to almost normal food. I had piece of Prime Rib, salad, spinach salad without any adverse reaction. (Still, some fruits, like grapes, feel like I am swallowing acid.) That return to normalcy is welcome, but scary event. I fear old habits. I hope that that fear will be my guardian.
My energy levels are constantly going up and definitely I know that the worse is behind me. I am determined to have that past suffering not go in vane. I will reach my goal and will stay there. And I pray that I will never lose my fear.

First Weekend out of Town Survived

Last weekend I went out of town and for three days I was depended on eating out. Well - I survived without any problems. Of course, I had to be careful, and light string cheese save me couple of times.

The more I think about the surgery, the more I consider this to be a miracle. Now my sleep apnea is gone. I was sleeping with CPAP ( a noisy 'breathing machine') since 1997. This time I could travel without it and sleep without it.
I was nervous about the surgery, I was worried about possible complications, threat of depression, etc. As it turns out, the surgery was a blessing, a gift. That gift was absolutely worth the discomfort, pain, nausea, and other side effect. They almost all had disappeared, but the weight loss, end of diabetes, end of apnea is here to stay.

To Melanie

I am not sure if you received my response. Just in case, here is 'public' version:

--------------------
Hi Melanie,
Congratulations on your surgery - big step!
To answer your question, try to get unflavored protein mix and add it to chicken broth. Greek yogurt (which has a lot of live cultures and is thicker) is good easy start. Also try Kefir - not many people know about it - but it is not just pro-biotic but PRE-biotic, in other words it has nutrients to feed pro-biotic bacteria.
I live only a block from Trader Joe - and the books are:

Cooking with all things Trader Joe
(http://www.amazon.com/Cooking-All-Things-Trader-Joes/dp/0979938414/ref=sr_1)

And
The I Love Trader Joe (http://www.amazon.com/Love-Trader-Joes-Cookbook-Delicious/dp/1569757178/ref )

Good luck to you - and do not get discouraged. The first three months could be unpleasant, but every time I test my blood sugar and step on the scale - I and incredibly happy.

Best wishes!


___________________

Thaddeus

4 Months

Today is 4 months since the surgery.
I started with BMI above 40 as 'severely obese', at the day of my surgery I was in the top of 'obese' category. Only yesterday I crossed from 'obese'  into  'overweight' range below 30.
So I am just 'overweight' now. Sweet.

100 Kg Milestone Smashed

This morning, after few days of reverse direction, my weight dropped to 218.8 lbs, well below 100Kg mark.
The bad news: my belly button is now 2 inches lower than it used to be. 8^)

Zombie Attack

Yesterday I had another zombie attack. I slept most of the day and night, and today I am just fine. I guess that was what I needed and the rest helped. I know that out of over 1600 (!) people who read this blog, many are either expecting surgery, or already had it and I am just few steps ahead. Of course nobody states that my experiences are 'typical' but generally you might expect similar situations. Just like nausea and puking in the beginning, tiredness later. I am trying to listen to my body and follow its requests. No time to be macho...

Practical Tips (2)

After bypass surgery there is unbalance in fiber consumption. I solved it in a very simple way. I use two kinds of Benefiber. One, unflavored, purchased in large 1.6 lb containers, dissolves almost instantly and does not change (significantly) the flavor of drink. I add it to coffee substitutes, etc. Another kind, flavored, comes in little convenient tubes, each suppose to be dissolved in 16 oz. of water. I use one for my 32 oz bottle. Makes a pleasing drink, and two bottles like this satisfy the 64oz water consumption requirement. Since I started doing this about month ago, I have no problems where I used to get 'stuck' before.

Practical Tips

I would like to share some of the practical 'survival' tips that I use.

1. Fortify the protein:
   I use unflavored protein mix (many varieties).  For example: one container of Nile Organic Potato and Leak soup, just add boiling water and wait 5 minutes, has 110 calories and only 4 grams of protein. That means only 16 calories are from the protein - less than 15%. I try to keep my daily ratio of protein calories to total calories above 35%. By adding half scoop of protein mix (60 calories, 12 grams of protein, 80% ratio), my soup meal becomes 170 calories, 16 grams of protein, 37.6% ratio. I am still not dealing well with meat, so this 'trick' is sure way to boost protein intake and still create easily digestible meal.
2. Eat soups:
   I work a lot, live by myself and cooking is not really what I want to do. Soups (fortified with protein mix) solved my problem. Some of my favorites:
   
- Trader Joe Beef and Barley (200 cal, 14g protein - serves two meals) - a small carton. 

- Nile Organic few varieties - single meal, a cup with dry soup - add boiling water.

- Health Valley Organic - microwavable.. - meal and a half. 

1. Other foods - quick, convenient, and tolerable:
   
- Light string cheese 

- Cooked shrimp 

- Fish (sashimi or broiled) 

- Cottage cheese (organic with live cultures - many store brands are 'dead') 

- Organic yogurt and kefir (again, live cultures!) 

- Canned tuna - go for better ones. 

- Trader's Joe reduced fat smoked Gouda. 

1. Grain beverage as a coffee substitution and use DAIRY dry non-fat milk based creamer.
   

Energy is Back

I cannot explain and I wish I knew. Yesterday I had a heavy day of lectures in front of 450 students, Bariatric Center Support group meeting, etc. I was expecting my lately usual crash, but as of 11PM I was still full of juice. Today - same thing. I will go to the gym, just returned from nice one hour walk, had my Office Hours with number of students, life is great!
I am puzzled, but also relieved as I suspected that something might be going wrong...
I am glad I did not call my doc for an appointment.

To Billy in N.C.

Billy, I responded to you but the email bounces back. Good luck to you and thank you for the email.

Status

The fourth month after the surgery starts with two major themes.

• I can eat more different foods, however still stay away from solid dry textures. I have to eat slowly, or face the punishment. I have to chew, chew, which somehow I forget as old habits die hard.  
• Second prevailing motif is my tiredness. I feel great, but tired, tired, tired. I sleep 12 hours per day, and that's not enough. I was told that it's normal, but doesn't feel normal to me. Even though I signed up for the gym membership, I am just too tired to go there. Sounds like an excuse, I know, but it is not. I go home instead, to bed, and in 5 minutes I am sleeping like I was on drugs. I am wondering if this is a symptom of some deficiency and I am planning to see my doctor. However at the Bariatric Center last week they told me that any deficiencies will not show up on the tests until 6 month after surgery. At the same time they said that being tired is normal at this stage. My system went through a major surgery, rearranged digestive system, lost 75 lbs, all this puts a stress on me. May be the sleep is what I need more than exercise at this juncture. I am planning to take an easy day today - go for a walk, watch the Ducks game on TV, sleep. Tomorrow I will be mostly in my office working.
  

Misguided Search

On July 17 I made post entitled Adventures in Vomiting - gross - but what a relief! - I wrote about how this disgusting activity spells abatement to some of the early post-surgery problems.
Recently I was looking at the visitors lists, looking where people came ‘from’. One person from Germany used Google to find this blog. I looked up that keywords (s)he used was: “Relief from Vomiting”
Poor person, I probably nauseated her even more. I was going to say ‘sorry’ but I am sure that (s)he will never be back. 8^)

3 Months

Yesterday passed 3 months since the surgery. I also had my 3-months checkup at the clinic. Good news! My high blood pressure was caused by a faulty automatic machine, and nothing else. At the office my BP was perfectly normal!
I am still a fraction under 230 lbs.
Reflections:
If someone would offer me a surgery to get rid of diabetes, with all the consequences like this surgery, I would take it in no time. If the weight loss would be a side effect - I would take it in no time.
The last 3 months were not easy and there are still many adjustments left, but my conviction that this was THE RIGHT decision is unshakable.
By strange coincident my surgery was moved ahead by 8 weeks. At first I did not like it, since it interfered with my summer class teaching. Now I'm extremely thankful that it was moved. I'm starting new school year in much better shape as compared to the state I was 8 weeks ago.
I did not like the nausea, pain, vomiting, tiredness, but in the final analysis, I feel blessed to have this surgery. This is a lease on new life, different life, new life full of the advantages to be harvested.

Under 230 lbs!

Today I went under 230 lbs. Writing this is one of the rewards 8^)
I also finished my shrimps/lime/cilantro - but this time carefully chewing and focused. No problem!

Focus!

Yesterday I purchased cooked shrimp with cilantro. Shrimp (cooked) is a great source of protein, low fat, and something I could tolerate very well. After few shrimps I realized that I ignored warning about fully focusing on eating and the first 3 or 4 shrimps went down with only slight effort to chew. I knew I made a mistake right away, but was hoping that it will pass (or shrimp will pass). The opening between new pouch and attached intestine is very small and 'the chew, chew' recommendation is incredibly important. I ate them around 8 PM, and until 2:30 AM it was in constant agony. What a lesson to learn. Now I wonder if my previous experience with beef was really caused by beef or just inadequate chewing...

Kawa Zbożowa

I stopped at the health food store, looking for coffee substitutions. I found few grain beverages from Switzerland and Poland. Ironically, when I was growing up in Poland, the grain based 'kawa zbożowa' was a symbol of the hated communism. It was a cheap substitute for real coffee that was either not available or too expensive. It was generally despised and ridiculed, usually in the same sentence. Interesting that I find it now, many years later, in USA, as a health food alternative, costing twice as much as coffee. No wonder we were so healthy growing up.
I had my first slice of pizza  and it was no problem. It is almost three months, and number of foods I tolerate is increasing. But the next day I had some roast-beef, that caused 5 hours of misery. I still cannot tolerate meat very well.
My weight dropped down again, and finally I was able to eat some fruits.
Another new development is higher than normal blood pressure. Average 160/88. Next week I'll have checkup and will consult about it. I used to drink mass quantity of coffee, tea, and I was adding food to my salt. Now - none of that, and pressure's up.
I still oscillate between being tired, sleepy, or full of pep. Higher blood pressure might have something to do with it. I sleep like a proverbial rock. I used to take melatonin - otherwise falling asleep was difficult and I needed only few hours of sleep. Now I sleep without melatonin, takes me 30 seconds to be in the vivid dream zone, from which I will not awake until 10-12 hours later...  What a waste of time!

Half-Way #1

Today I reached the half-way mark for my total weight loss. 69 lbs down, 69 to go. 51 lbs since the surgery. Piece of cake! (No, I can't have one...)
Since I had to 'prove' the weight loss to qualify for the procedure, I lost 18 lbs before the surgery. Therefore I'm only 9 lbs away from my next step - half-way goal since the surgery - at 225 lbs.

No More Zombie!

Just as the tiredness suddenly came over and grabbed me for more than one week, as unexpectedly it disappeared. Since the weekend I am in great shape, great mood, not tired, not sleepy, not a zombie.
I have no explanation, and no understanding. I just went with the flow. I feel the energy coming back, my mind could stay sharp for the whole day. Fabulous.
I signed up for a gym membership in the Downtown Athletic Club (to actually start next week). The lectures preparation is going great, and I am so upbeat about all of this.

Sleeeeep!

I mentioned this before - but somehow this is another annoying aspect of recovery. Almost daily I go back home in the middle of the day - and sleep for couple of hours. Makes no difference if I walk, bike, drive, the mid-day tiredness comes up - and I sleep very, very hard. Like on sleeping pills. I checked my sugar to see if it is the cause, but the blood sugar levels are perfect - around 100. I feel great otherwise, great spirit, great mood, but at 2 PM I am a zombie. I don't like it... I am lucky, it is summer, no classes to teach, next year preparation on track (with the help of two VERY capable Teaching Assistants - thank you D. and J. - if you read this!).

Mixed Feelings

I definitely see the change happening. Not the weight or sugar, but changes in my reaction to food. Some of these changes are very surprising. First - I seem to be able to eat almost anything. But by saying that, I do not mean to say that I can eat almost all. I used to love fruits, now they taste like an acid. One plum, one grape, is all it takes to make me look the other way. Meat, my favorite, is no longer something I can stand. I prefer veggie-burger patty any time. I use to have some cravings for specific foods. I don't. No food is tempting, but also surprisingly, I am experiencing hunger more and more. This is another new experience to me, when I am hungry and no food looks appealing. Natural cottage cheese comes to my rescue. 4 oz, half a cup, that is all I need.

Quiet Life

I was very quiet in the last few days. There was really nothing drastic to report. We had a long Labor Day weekend, the weather was lousy, and I ended up sleeping most of the time. The tiredness came back, but not in the annoying zombie form. The sleep was very rejuvenating and I feel relatively very good. The only concern is that now it seems like I am able to consume more and different foods and I feel like my hunger (or something similar) has returned. I am trying to evaluate it before I eat. Is it real? Is it emotional? Is it social? My caloric intake went up slightly, to around 900-1000 calories per day with 90-100 g. of protein. My weight dropped to a new low two days ago, and this morning was only .2 lb above.
People start to notice the change, I definitely feel it.

New Territory!

Today my weight went below 240 lbs! 

This is a place I have not been in over 20 years!

Feels great.

One common thread, while listening to other WLS patients, is their unpredictable experiences in the first few months. Same here...

BTW, my blood sugar level is fabulous - 97 today. This is the one war won, and for that reason alone the surgery was worth it. 

The ups and downs of the recovery are relatively small price to pay.

Drop, Again

Yesterday was a good day! What a yo-yo! The weight started dropping again, and today looks very good.

Wasted Day

Today the upset pouch continued to punish me - but in sort of tricky way. Morning I was OK - had small breakfast, had a piece of salmon for lunch, so far so good. By early afternoon - I am stuck - feel awful, things are sitting under my throat. The whole evening's like this. I am not going into details, but it is not pleasant.

Sort of Remarkable Date

OK - today marks the TENTH day my weight did not change, 242.2 lbs this morning.

Ten days!

I would have been seriously worried about it had I not have the surgery, now I just see it as annoying oddity with the absolute certainty that weight loss will continue. Others went through similar experiences, but somehow these 10 days defy the laws of physics.

Predictable Unpredictability

At the last support group meeting on Tuesday we talked about the post-bariatric surgery nutrition. One of the recommended foods was quinoa. Friday I visited friends and they had quinoa with their dinner. I tried some, and it was great. OK - new discovery. On my way home I stopped at the store and picked up organic quinoa in bulk and in the package. Today I made some for diner. That was 3 hours ago, have been puking since....

Stalled Ride

Today is the 9th day I have not lost any weight!. Oh well, it will happen, but this is unnerving. My body is pulling the same trick it always did, holding on to the extra weight as it's most precious possession. This time I will win, stupid body!

Two days ago I spent most of the day on the coast, looking at some real estate. When it came time for a dinner, we (my Realtor and I) went to a local seafood place. I had a small cup of clam chowder, ate half, talked for 15 minutes, and finished it. That officially marked my first time since the surgery I ate something at the restaurant. Chowder is not the best diet food, but being able to eat only few ounces, no bread, no butter, nothing else, is not bad for the dinner 8^)

Two Months!

When I woke up from the surgery and turned on TV I found out that Charlie's Angel had died. A little bit later Michael Jackson. From now on I do not need to remember my surgery day as every month and every year I will be reminded about it.

After two months the success in fighting off diabetes is obvious. Since 8/8/09 I have not had a single BS reading above 120! The weight loss is significant, but it is somehow stalled again. Five days ago I had 241.6 and for the last 5 days I am within .5 lb every morning, but I am not dropping. But I was warned that this is how it will be. Weigh loss is not linear. I am still not comfortable eating solid foods like steak, but cheese and fish is OK. My emotional condition is great, very upbeat spirit, and I am slowly reaching my previous mental stamina. I am mentioning this as many WLS patients experience depression, and that was one of my pre-op concerns. So far the concern unfounded...

Good Weekend, Bad Grapes!

Finally I broke through my 'mental distractions' and made a real good progress on my next academic year preparation. I had to throw away some self-imposed restrictions and now I think I have great workable plan. This is important!

The cherry season ended - and few cherries I tried (with caution) did not cause any problems. Now I tried grapes. After no more than a small handful I started to feel 'not right'. 15 - 20 minutes later the 'dumping' happened. What an unpleasant experience. I am still puzzled why cherries were OK but grapes are no-no.

Every new food is a potential trap and unpredictable surprise.

Obesity Discussion Forum

I discovered the Obesity Discussion forum, and I feel that it will be a great resource for support and exchange of ideas. Please check http://www.obesitydiscussion.com/ if interested in the topic. I was surprised to see how much negative feedback is made regarding weight loss surgeries, but I actually understand it. The surgery carries a large risk, and by no means guarantees success. However I am also glad that I went through it. My diabetes is gone - and that has nothing to do with diet. The doctor stated that they really do not know how it works, but the surgery makes one very sensitive to insulin, where insensitivity was before. I have been overweight for the last 25 years. Up, down, but the trend was up. Every year I promised myself to end that! And every year I failed. The decision for the surgery is a simple acknowledgment that I am not going to fool myself any more. This is my new chance, new opportunity. I will not waste that.
As they say - it is a tool, not a solution. I embraced that tool.

Not Ready to Eat Out!

Today is Saturday, and as usual it is a day for a Saturday Market in Eugene, as well as Farmer's market. Among the stands there was local coastal fish place, and they were grilling samples of their tuna. I purchased two pieces on a stick, each about 1 oz.. Tuna was excellent, but now I am in my office deliberating if I should keep it in captivity or release it into the wild. It is sitting right under my throat, and totally undecided if it should go down or up.

Eight Weeks

This is the last time I am counting weeks. 8/25/2009 will mark two months since the surgery and from now on months it is!

This morning I was greated by a pleasant surprise, I lost 2.4 lb since yesterday!

I am now at 241.6 lbs (109.6 Kg). Goodie, goodie.

Someow after almost two months I still have problems concentrating on my work for more than few hours. Is it the reaction on the reduced caloric intake? Still healing? Brain preoccupied with the new life? I don't know - but I am forcing myself to overcome that 'attention deficit annoyance'. I really don't like it, since I am preparing for the next year teaching and I feel like I am falling behind.

I developed some Pavlovian conditioning reflexes. Chewing food, over and over, that was something I could never learn - but after unpleasant consequences, I am finding myself now chewing, chewing, and chewing automatically. Another instict developing is to stop after each bite and evaluate if there is room for one more... Now I rather stop instead of facing the wrath of the pouch.

Whoa!

I see that there is an interest in my blog. Today I checked the map again (statcounter only keeps last 500 visits for free, and that is what I have). I am so glad to have so many visitors from so many places. Please write to me or comment.
Thanks for visits.

Goal Milestones

I am looking forward to the few milestones that should happen not too far in the future.
First will be 100Kg (220.5lbs). Nice round number.
Next will be 215lbs (97.5Kg) - the weight at which I will cease to be 'obese' and will become just 'overweight'.
Finally another round number - 200lbs (90.7KG).
All these three goals should be accomplished within one month, and the first one (220lbs) I estimate will happen around the end of September, while end of October should see me getting under 200lbs.
At around middle of December I should reach 'normal' body weight ( 179lbs).
I should be able to achieve my final goal of 165 lbs in the middle of January.
Nothing gives me more pleasure than thinking and writing about it.

Energy!!!

During the previous weeks my biggest complain was my tiredness. About one week ago all this ended and if anything I have an excess of energy. Today I was giving the final exam to my students and found myself pacing from one end of the classroom to another all the time. I just could not sit down. And all this was possible after eating a single hard boiled egg. I am getting to be more and more happy about the surgery.

Seven Weeks!

Today is seven weeks since the surgery, and after unexpected spike in weight in the middle of the week, the weight came down to 247. Blood sugar remains in 100-110 range throughout the day.
I had gorgeous day on the canoe yesterday, without getting tired.
Life is wonderful, even if the piece of an apple in the evening did not agree with my pouch.

Back on track

Today the weight reached new low of 248.8. lbs. I do not know how to explain these fluctuations. Blood sugar stays in the normal range, and I am off for a canoe excursion. First time this year.

Disheartening Direction

While my blood sugar continues to be in the normal range, which is fabulous, my weight for the last two days went up and today it was 2.4 lbs higher than lowest three days ago. This is so disheartening on so many levels. I keep track of all my food. Saturday I had only 588 calories, Sunday 526, and yesterday 779. I feel exactly as I felt in my previous attempts to lose weight, where my system just refused to shed pounds. I am not cheating, not snacking, and on top of this, I exercise. I ride bicycle to school, walk, and generally I feel surplus of energy as in stark contrast to the previous few weeks. All I can say is that I will stay on track, and reach my second goal, even if it will not be a downhill ramp but a staircase.

I modified the chart by changing the scale for the BS (it used to start at 100, now it starts at 80) and the scale for weight minimum from 160 to 150. I created the Goal Zone, where BS ranges between 80-120 and weight will be below 179Lbs, which is not my final goal, but at that weight my BMI will be considered normal. As you can see I am already in the zone for blood sugar levels.!
To my surprise my weight went UP this morning. Oh well, it will come down. I had a big bike ride yesterday and my energy level is great.

Interesting Statistic

Since I came back from the hospital on 6/27/09, 43 days passed. Out of these 43 days, 31 times my morning weight was at the new low.

Dumping? What the &^%$#?

Few great days were met with a temporary and very unpleasant setback. I stopped at friends house, had a bite of fish, slice of baked potato, some tomatoes. I felt like the potato got stuck, but few bites of watermelon seem to wash it down. At home I decided to supplement my protein and had few bites of beef liver. So far so good. One hour later the misery started. Pain, gagging, for the next 5 hours I puked probably 10 times. I was exhausted. Finally I took one Metoclopramide tablet. I am not sure if after 5 hours there was nothing left, or the pill worked, but things calmed out and I was able to get to sleep. Today I feel exhausted and afraid of touching any food. They warned me of similar episodes, called delayed dumping, but they should be caused by sweets or starchy carbs. I am not sure if one slice of potato qualifies.
Overall, that was a big minus for the pretty much great last few days. Oh, well, just take in what is coming and try to avoid the same mistake (if I only knew exactly what the mistake was). It could have been the potato, but also the liver, or mustard I put on the liver...

Six Weeks!

Today is six weeks since the surgery. My blood sugar level this morning was 110! My weight is 251 lbs. 34 lbs loss since the surgery, 52 lbs loss since applying for the surgery. I am finally getting handle on my 'angry' pouch, but most importantly, my energy levels are increasing from day to day. The tiredness was my biggest complaint, but this is OVER! Nausea was my #2 problem, but this one is ALSO over.
Let the chart say the rest.

I am no longer a diabetic!

From the blood sugar guidelines:

Upon waking up (and before breakfast), your levels should be between 80 and 120.

This morning my BS was at 118!
And WITHOUT any medications, insulin, etc.

Since I declared that diabetes was my #1 reason for the surgery - this is beyond expectations. It's only been 5 1/2 weeks.
On the other hand, my weight is coming down slowly lately. In the last 7 days I only lost 2 lbs.

Back to the baby steps

I was worried that with all my problems I am not getting enough nutrition. I tried again the protein mix - and it worked. Almost instantly the energy came back and I went for one hour bike ride. What was amazing was this: so far today I ate around 800 calories, but one hour bike ride consumed about 500.
Let's see what the weight scale shows tomorrow.

Life is Interesting

Life is interesting, specially when it is full of surprises and traps. Last two days are just like that. A single soft boiled egg in the morning causes 30 minutes of 'plugness' (I coined this word - combination of being plugged and stuffed). Instead of going out - 30 minutes in the easy chair. There were at least five unpredictable episodes during the last two days. According to the others - this will pass. The problem is that there is no repeat pattern, or may be there is - but I don't see it.

Changes, changes

Things are changing day to day, and even every few hours. The pain associated with eating is GONE! I think it was some scar tissue being torn. What a relief! I had some soup - no pain. Cherries. No pain. Cooked shrimps. No pain. So it was just something very temporary.
Surprise at every corner.
Now I am scared that I will be able to eat WITHOUT penalty! Haha, not true, today I am still below 650 calories. And if I will have something, it will be a glass of milk.
I feel generally MUCH better today. I am still looking for the day when I could put whole day of intensive effort at work. I am lucky, I am preparing next year's program, and I still have a lot of time, so it is way too early to panic. But I do not feel good about days going by without seeing real progress in my output.
I have to quote one of my favorite poems from Laurie Anderson:

The one-armed man walks into a flower shop and says:
What flower expresses days go by
and they just keep going by endlessly
pulling you into the future.
Days go by
endlessly
Endlessly pulling you into the future.
And the florist says:
White Lily.

New Stage - penalty for eating

I guess I entered new stage - of pain after eating ANYTHING. I am not sure if this is normal or not. I know that some of the readers had previously similar experience, please share with me. Before the soft food like cottage cheese would just go through the pouch. Now everything stops there. After few bites there is a lot of pressure and discomfort. I suppose to have three meals - but that would mean totally inadequate nutrition. So I munch. A bit of cheese, sip of milk, etc. One low-fat string cheese stick (60 cal, 6g protein) is a major effort to consume. I tried the soup again, but I could only have may be 2 oz. The strange thing is that in the last 3 days my weight remained virtually unchanged, even though I ate only about 700 cal per day. It just shows how my system is resistant to weight loss. It was happening before, except this time instead of starving at 700 calories I have to force myself to eat 700 calories.

Week 5

Today is week 5!
I feel the energy is increasing. I still worry that my food intake is too low, but nothing looked good. I was thinking about possibility of soup. I stopped at the Trader Joe and got myself a small carton of Beef-Barley soup. That was what was needed. I ate only half of it (100 cal, 7g protein). I will look around for other soupy choices. If you have suggestions - please let me know.
Last three weeks I am losing on average 4 lb per week. I think that is good rate.
That's all, folks.

No food is good, just milk and cherries

I am developing a real distaste to food. I eat minuscule amounts, but I am not hungry. However the ONLY food I crave is fruit. I had a cupful of cherries, and I even reached out to pick a wild plum, but did not eat it. The other food is low fat milk. Everything else just turns my stomach or pouch - not sure which one since I have them both.
Eating so slowly is such new experience, and sometimes I just drift away from 100% concentration, and receive instant punishment. I am afraid of eating fruits (sugar), and milk (sugar as lactose). I believe that the higher proportion of these is contributing to my blood sugar staying above 130 (of course, one month ago even 150 was an unobtainable goal).
I ordered few books with recipes specifically for the diet after Bariatric Surgery. Also, at the support group, someone mentioned the book specifically for Trader Joe. Since I live one block from TJ, and the variety and package sizes are more suitable than Costco, I ordered this book.
I feel more energy today, went for a little bike ride, slept couple of hours during the day. Eugene is experiencing record heat with tempertures over 100F. Being outdoors is not very pleasant, riding motorcycle feels like having a hair drier blowing in your face. The formerly infected incission, which was still swalen, hard, and painful, opened up today and drained. That relived pain and swelling, but still gets me worried.
Otherwise - not much to report, tomorrow will be 5 weeks since the surgery.

Happy Birthday to me.

Today is my birthday. I had no clue how to celebrate it, so I did not. I attended the Support Group at the Oregon Bariatric Center instead. Good meeting. Topic: emotions, and their relationship to our relationship to food. A lot of things to digest... 8^)
My sleepiness/tiredness is slightly alleviating, but the 'pouch' is still unpredictably angry. They should have a Pouch Support Group! Yesterday it was lettuce, today it was meat. Bummer, but according to the 'masters' at the support meeting - they all went through period like this. Eventually the tiredness was replaced by the surge of energy - and I cannot wait.
I reached new low today - so far I am close to 48 lbs since I started this process, 30 since the surgery.

Unexpected expected

I am still very careful what I eat, but I also try to increase the range and ingredients. I tried butter lettuce as a addition to my high protein boring food (I'm still afraid of trying less boring protein). However the lettuce turned out to be too much and my pouch expelled it. Lettuce! I was OK with meat, fish, but not with lettuce. I cannot figure it out, it is strictly trial and error.
I am still tired - and it is for sure related not only to the healing process, but also on living on under 1000 calories per day. More like 500... I sleep at least two times during the day.
Slowly I need to increase it to about 1200. But I will skip on lettuce for now.

Improvement Continues

I see the nice path of uneven, but steady, improvement. No more nausea, that one week was enough. I am almost back to 'normal' - with one exception. I get tired and sleepy very easily. I am not fighting it - but I know it will also pass.

I decided to keep strict log of all my food. My motivation is to make sure that I get enough protein (min 60-70g) daily with as little calories as possible.

All food I eat I enter into my spreadsheet with a standard portion size, calories and grams of protein. For each food I get the ratio of the calories from protein to the total calories.

On another sheet I keep daily log with food, portion, and the look-up of calories, protein, and ratio.

Today I had so far 368 calories and 38g of protein. That means the ratio is 41.57%
(38*4)/368

I'm ready for dinner.

(After dinner addition: 613 calories, 75g protein. Ratio: 48.8%)

Nutritional Database Web Site

I my search for the nutritional analysis I came across very good site:
http://www.nutritiondata.com
They break down foods not only into a basic 'Nutrition Facts', but also into many graphical interpretations. Please check it out.

One month

Today is one month since the surgery.
Last two days were pretty good - no nausea, no puking for 48 hours! I eat different foods, no adverse reaction.
My blood sugar this morning was down to 127! This is phenomenal! I am getting VERY close to normal. For one month I have not had any insulin, Byetta, Metformin! It looks that (as promised) my diabetes is gone! And that was my goal #1. My weight today was 257.8, new low. The infected incision is finally healing.
I am still feeling physically tired - I still sleep a lot, but the spirit is high.

4 Weeks!

Today is 4 weeks since the surgery. It seems so long ago. I read my previous posts and I am so glad I kept them current. I already forgot half of the stuff that happened.
Yesterday I had weird day. I felt OK, but after two, three hours I was crashing. I went to work, came back home, slept, went back to work, came back home, slept.
This morning I decided to have 'easy' breakfast, one that will not interfere with my 10:30 lecture. I made scrambled egg whites. I figured - egg whites - pure protein. I puked them 5 minutes later. OK - not a good start. I was able to drink milk, and I grabbed a banana with me. That banana took me few hours to finish. Lecture went fine, but the still-not-healed incision was bothering me. I called Oregon Bariatric Center, and they told me to come in.
The doctor's last day is tomorrow - so the timing was good. Soon I was laying on my back, with him poking and slicing (after injection of numbing stuff) and opening the wound. After 10 minutes it was suppose to be 'clean'.
On my way home I added supplies of gauze pads and tape. Coming home I felt hungry. I felt hungry in my 'lower' stomach. This was the new sensation.
I ate soft boiled egg. So far, 10 minutes later, no reaction.

I know it must be boring to read about the pukes, and infections, and pokes, and etc, etc...
However - that is the way it is. This train just left the station short time ago. I feel it is important that I document it all.
If I do not write it - I forget it.

The chart shows 4 weeks before the surgery and 4 weeks after.

Hallelujah

That 3 oz of tasteless tofu did wonders. My nausea is gone, and by the evening a dose of energy propelled me to take 30 minutes hike in the neighborhood. Obviously it doesn't take a lot to regenerate. I feel great.

No taste, no texture, heaven!

By late afternoon I started to worry that unless I will eat something - I will not help myself. Riding home I was thinking what I could swallow. I needed protein, but no texture, no taste...
Eureka, on my way home I stopped at Trader Joe and got myself tofu!
No taste, no texture, heaven!
I could eat and keep!
I'm healed! 8^)

Got milk?

After yesterday's episodes no food looks eatable. I should have at least 60g of protein, but almost everything I look at turns my stomach (sorry, pouch) inside out. The only food I could eat (sorry, drink) is milk. It works great, I took a thermos with cold milk to work.
I tried liquid protein mix again, tried to taste some turkey breast, cottage cheese... everything makes me nauseated just by looking at it.

After today's lecture I went home and again I fell asleep in my chair for one hour. Now I am back at work. I feel mentally great, however that lack of nutrition is affecting my stamina.

The infected incision is almost healed, but still it is painful and bothering me when wearing shirt.
OK - back to work.

Roller Coaster

So if you will have the same procedure - this is one of the possibilities you can expect. Day started great - full of energy. I went to work but at around 2:30 decided to go home, felt tired. After I got home, instantly I fell asleep in my chair. Normally I sleep only 5-7 hours daily - lately that is how many hours I stay awake. I tried something nutritious and bland - a small salmon patty. No salt, no spices. I could only eat a little more than half, when things started to go south. I have been puking whole evening and it is almost 1AM - and I still feel like I am ready for couple of more trips. What a bummer!

Wasted day

Sunday again was one of these wasted days. I woke up early, the breakfast was met with the internal resistance and ended up in the toilet with me on my knees. I had major case of nausea. I wanted to go to work and I knew I should eat SOMETHING! I waited one hour, and ate one soft-boiled egg. The result was the same, worshiping the toilet. I felt really bad and around 11AM I decided to go back to bed. I slept until 4PM. When I woke up the nausea disappeared, I was able to eat an egg without repercussion. I took my motorcycle for a little ride, stopped to see some friends, came home and that was it. Nothing that was planned was accomplished.
Good news - today's breakfast (cottage cheese) was just fine. No reaction. Off I go to work.
Last 4 days my weight remained practically the same (261), however the blood sugar dropped to 140!

Trading puking for walking

I became worried about constant puking. First time, it was nasty. Second time it was funny. But 20th(?) time - it is scary.
I eat today and of course - and was met with a serious internal resistance. Instead of running to the bathroom, I decided to walk it off and quickly started to hike trough the neighborhood streets. About 4 times I was just ready to stop and embarrass myself like some drunken bum on somebody's front yard, but I just started to walk faster. After about 30 minutes I was sort of fine, and I kept the food. All 4 ounces!

My recent visitors...

Thank you for your visits!
(Map from Statcounter.com)

Adventures in Vomiting - gross - but what a relief!

In my adult life I do not remember that I ever vomited. It was just plain impossible.
Last few days - I am getting to be a master in this once impossible activity. I am experimenting with different tastes, and really I cannot predict what will trigger the attack. I was at the friends house today and tried few tiny pieces of various spicy fish. I expected the worse - but noting happened. Later at home I had some yogurt, and almost instant explosion. One day I will make sense out of this, but now actually this happening is a relief - since right before I suffer in pain and pressure on my chest. I am worried about nutritional situation after more than 3 weeks. Tomorrow I am planning to go back to liquid protein for a day or two. Let the things calm down.

Otherwise I feel great, the tiredness is being replaced by new energy, I worked (means being able to concentrate) 4-5 hours daily, rest of the day is still a zombie time. But the ratio of zombie/productive time is getting smaller every day. Tomorrow I will ride my bike to work and spend there 5 hours. I am still behind my project, but I am back on the track.

Fish did not jump

Two and 1/2 hour lecture went fine - fish did not jump.

Experiments, everything is an experiment...

Today is three weeks since the surgery. Overall, life is good.
During these three weeks my food intake was very minuscule, and I decided to add few things today.
Since I felt so well, I decided to add some of the supplements I was taking before the surgery, mainly fish oil tabs.
Mistake!
That fish oil is constantly attacking me from inside as it was alive...
I have a lecture in 25 minutes.
Fish - stay down!!

No Pain!

This is fantastic. I am not sure if this is because I stopped finally taking antibiotics or because tomorrow will be 3 weeks after the surgery, but today finally I could have a small meal without pain. I prepared 5 small Belgian endive leaves, filled them with small amount of tuna paste and alfalfa. Yesterday that would hurt, today it just felt like I am getting some food.
I guess soon I will graduate to 'any' food - as long as quantity will be small, I will eat very slowly, and chew, chew, chew...
I mentioned this before - I am learning to eat again.

On the mend - again!

After couple of hiccups I am back on the track to full recovery. This morning my weight was 261.8 lbs. I mentioned before that I was attempting to lose weight many, many times before. Two years ago was the last and probably most serious try. I was able to get down to 247 lbs ( I just looked at the old file with daily records). That was the lowest I was ever able to get down in more than 20 years. It is amazing that I am only 15 lbs from that minimum. I achieved that 247 after about of 4 months of pretty much starvation. For the following three months no matter what I did - the weight stayed the same. After that my motivation declined and the weight slowly crept up. Now it looks like within one month I will be lighter than I was in my 40s.
I am down to the last antibiotic pill - due at early afternoon. Again, I am so glad this is happening!