Today I feel rather good. Lecture went smoothly, went home, had a little nap, and overall this is a very good day. I am tired of the protein mixes, I decided to experiment. I grilled two small chicken skinless breasts, cut them in little pieces, added little Philadelphia cream cheese and plain yogurt. Run it in the mixer until I had nice smooth paste. I sit down and slowly ate one small spoon of this mixture. Tasted great. I was not sure about the reaction as this was the first time I had some meat. After about 5 minutes and two more teaspoons, I was completely FULL. It looks like these two breasts will last few days. No adverse reaction, nothing.
So now I have two winning recipes, #1 - tuna paste, #2 - chicken paste. It reminds me the restaurant scene in the movie 'Brazil'
I do not feel tired anymore. Life is wonderful.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Stigma
I feel like there is a stigma associated with the bariatric (weight loss) surgeries. There is a stigma associated with being overweight. It is mostly attributed to laziness, lack of self control, being a glutton, and basically all fat folks are guilty of eating as much as alcoholics are guilty of drinking. I will be the first to agree that that stereotype applies to some. I have seen fat folks consuming huge amounts of junk. At the same time some people no matter what – will gravitate towards being fat – like some people no matter how much they eat will stay thin. Since the prevailing attitude is ‘it is your own fault’ the bariatric surgery is looked upon as a drastic, self-mutilating step, to become normal. In critics eyes, same could be accomplished with just a little bit of discipline.
Well, the decision to get such radical surgery is not easy one and not taken in vain. After 20 years of doing ‘other’ things I knew I lost the battle. I could always lose weight, but I could not keep it off. I lost probably 1000 lbs in those 20 years, while getting heavier and heavier. A lot of people I knew were hiding the fact that they had surgery. Just like this would have been something to be ashamed of. And deep down, there is some shame in my consciousness. I feel that what I did was self-mutilation. At the same time I know that this was the ONLY way for me.
Since coming back from the hospital I stopped injecting myself with insulin, Byetta, stopped taking Metformin. My morning blood sugar that used to be all over the scale – from 190 to 350 is now at the steady and narrow range of 150-160. Not perfect, but much, much better. I believe that it will stabilize at below 110 as it should, and without any medications. That is the victory I could not achieve before.
This morning my weight was 270, 15 lbs since the surgery, 33 since I applied for the surgery.
Stigma or not – so far it works and there are no regrets.
Well, the decision to get such radical surgery is not easy one and not taken in vain. After 20 years of doing ‘other’ things I knew I lost the battle. I could always lose weight, but I could not keep it off. I lost probably 1000 lbs in those 20 years, while getting heavier and heavier. A lot of people I knew were hiding the fact that they had surgery. Just like this would have been something to be ashamed of. And deep down, there is some shame in my consciousness. I feel that what I did was self-mutilation. At the same time I know that this was the ONLY way for me.
Since coming back from the hospital I stopped injecting myself with insulin, Byetta, stopped taking Metformin. My morning blood sugar that used to be all over the scale – from 190 to 350 is now at the steady and narrow range of 150-160. Not perfect, but much, much better. I believe that it will stabilize at below 110 as it should, and without any medications. That is the victory I could not achieve before.
This morning my weight was 270, 15 lbs since the surgery, 33 since I applied for the surgery.
Stigma or not – so far it works and there are no regrets.
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